Eldouche
Eldouche is a senior officer and sailmaster of Unscrupulous Rumrunners and member of the flag Brink of Dawn on the Viridian Ocean. He is currently homeless and is living out of a van down by the river on the island of Jubilee Island. Eldouche manages Isabella's Tiaras and Elizabethan Linens on Jubilee Island, and Aerialla's Ironworking Stall on Labyrinth Moors. Eldouche enjoys all duty stations save bilging, which is the bane of his existence, being nice to everyone, building homes for the poor, and enduring verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from crewmates Aerialla and Dai. Eldouche does not believe in retaliation, because Aerialla and Dai must truly be angels deep down inside.
History
After a heavy night of rum-drinking in August 2007, Eldouche awoke in a haze to find himself stranded on the beaches of Labyrinth Moors. He tried to recall the events of the previous night, but as a result of his usual blackout could not answer the many questions that flew threw his head: "Where am I? Where is my wallet? Why is there peanut butter, whipped cream, dried candle wax, and shards of duct tape all around me?" Forgoing these queries for the more pressing issue of finding a restroom, Eldouche wandered up the beach until he found a seemingly uninhabited shack, inside of which he found a meager bedroll where he laid his throbbing head and aching body and fell back asleep.
When Eldouche wakened 4 hours later, he realized that he had been trapped, dragged to the murky depths of a massive online multiplayer game known as Puzzle Pirates by his fellow pirates Aerialla and Charlote. He strolled down to the docks, where he found his two deceptive hearties flirting with unsuspecting, naive greenies who knew no better than to give them the few poe they owned.
"Eldouche!" they both exclaimed, how could you pick such a dirty, revolting pirate name? Eldouche responded defensively, "Hey! I didn't imply anything! How could you two doubt my integrity and upstanding character?" The two at first refused to associate themselves with poor Eldouche, but soon, eying the dubloon resting in Eldouche's pocket, shanghaied him onto their crew and challenged him to a sword fight. Eldouche, not knowing any better, accepted their challenge, relieved that his friends would finally show him how to puzzle.
Eldouche was wrong, Aerialla mercilessly slaughtered Eldouche in combat, her skull dagger and months of experience utterly overwhelming Eldouche, who had never even picked up a foil, or even fought anyone before for that matter. Aerialla and Charlote greedily grabbed Eldouche's dubloon and ran off to buy themselves new clothes. However, as Eldouche sat there, glum and despondent upon a cannon, Captainflood strolled over.
"Don't worry about them Eldouche, they do that to everyone, and nobody really likes them anyways."
"It's alright," Eldouche responded, "I was just hoping they would show me how to play." Luckily, the gracious Captainflood welcomed Eldouche warmly into the Unscrupulous RumRunners and showed him the ropes, and Eldouche has been unscrupulously running rum ever since.
