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This page is documentation for an event. Please do not modify this page without speaking to the event organizers.
Blonde, Well-Tanned Gunning Bakeoff ⌈Viridian⌋ | Showdown at the Cobalt Corral ⌈Cobalt⌋ SPECTRE hits Sage ⌈Sage⌋ | Brontes Memorial Gunning Bakeoff ⌈Midnight⌋

The Vitals

Bakeoff? What's a bakeoff?

A bakeoff is a puzzle competition... in this case, a gunning contest. The best gunner wins.

Where is it?

On the Viridian ocean, likely at either Prolix or Viridis.

When is it?

The bakeoff will take place on Saturday the 3rd of February, 2007, and will officially start at 12:00 noon PST, although all entrants will need to be present earlier to check in. (See below for more information on that.)

What kind of prizes do you have?

The prize list is now official. It might still change, but we don't expect it to shrink.

  • 1st: A gold-brown parrot (Blonde and well-tanned, of course.)
  • 2nd: A bronze fish
  • 3th: A renamed war brig
  • 4rd: A sleeping piglet
  • 5th: A renamed sloop
  • 6th: A renamed sloop
  • 7th: A renamed sloop
  • 8th: A lump of coal trinket
  • 9th: A carousing set (assorted carousing furniture and a fancy chest to store yer filthy lucre)
  • 10th: A Rhodin outfit suitable for your gender

Additionally, everyone who finishes in the top 10 will receive a yellow-tan ribbon trinket and a hearty handshake.

Where/How do I sign up?

Read the full instructions below; signup instructions are in there! Please do note that preregistration for this event is absolutely mandatory. There are no "walk-ons".

Full Instructions


To preregister for this event, keep an eye on the forum topic and this YPPedia page. A week before the event, Agon will open preregistration. When he does so, if you would like to preregister, send an e-mail to

  • The subject of your e-mail should start with the word "Rhodin". If it doesn't, then gmail'll toss it into the junk pile.
  • Include the name of the pirate you are preregistering.
    • This pirate must have oceanwide standing in gunnery of Renowned or higher on the Viridian ocean.

I'll confirm preregistrations in batches periodically. Be patient and only send one e-mail; I'll reply to every message I receive within 48 hours, even if it's to say I can't preregister you. If you don't hear from me within two days, then send another one.

Everyone who successfully preregisters will receive a second confirmation on the morning of the event with their ship and assistant assignments. Remember to check your inbox that morning!

Waiting List

There are only 80 preregistration berths. If we get more than 80 preregistrants, the leftovers will go on the waiting list. Additional information and directions for this group will be in their confirmation e-mail.

Morning Of The Event


On the day of the event, the assistants will be around from 11:00 AM PST onwards to check their entrants in. You will receive a second e-mail that morning with the name of your assistant... just send that person a /tell to get jobbed into the crew.

Check-in will close at 11:45 AM PST. You must be aboard your assigned ship at 11:45, or you lose your spot. I'll be making announcements over /crew chat with the time left until 11:45, so as long as you're jobbed into the crew, you should be fine.

At 11:45, we'll do a headcount, shuffle people around as necessary, and I'll run down the core event rules one last time. Then we start!

Round 1

Round 1 will be played on war brigs, with 8 entrants to a brig. Assistants will deport and PVP each other, then they'll load a slate of 16 guns and fire them off to get them dirty for the first contestant.

After all 16 guns are dirty, the assistant will call an entrant's name. If it's your name, find a gunning station. When you're ready to start gunning, say the words "Up the Revolution!" in /vessel chat, then begin. You cannot enter the gunning puzzle until you say those words. As quickly as you can, load all 16 guns, then exit the puzzle and say "Fire!" You can use any technique you like as long as you don't start gunning before you say Up the Revolution.

After Fire!, the assistant will fire the guns and call the next entrant.


Assistants will use their chat logs to determine everyone's timing. Your time is the difference between "Up the Revolution!" and the final "Player has abandoned a puzzle" message before you said "Fire!" (You only say Fire so the assistant knows you're done, not for timing purposes.)

The top three times from each boat, plus anyone who finishes with an overall time of 3:15 or less, will move onto the second round. Your assistant will give you further directions if you have moved on.

Round 2

There will be a 5-10 minute "go get a drink/take a pee/let the dog out/check on the kids/grab some chips/whatever else" break between rounds 1 and 2.

Loser Lounge

If you lose in the first round, come join us on the loser lounge! We've got carousing tables and, starting in the break, exclusive local-only Loser Tournaments to keep you entertained while you wait for the final. Just hop on and do whatever you like!

Round 2

Round 2 is more or less the same as the first round, but with more guns and fewer players... you're playing on war frigates (24 guns), and most of the boats will have 3 contestants aboard.


For round 2, only the top two times overall will move on. (You're competing against everyone else on every other boat for the two finalists' berths.)

Final Round

For the final round, we will (hopefully) be using GFs. One finalist will be assigned to the First GF, while the other will be aboard the Second GF. Everyone who has lost in the first or second round is also invited to hop on the First GF for the final!

The assistants will deport and engage each other in PVP, but this time it will be sinking. The ships will be maneouvered into a position from which they can both shoot at, and be shot at by, each other. Meanwhile, the assistants will load a single cannon on each boat. Once the boats are in position, the assistants will fire that warning shot off the "wrong" side of the ship. As soon as the warning shots are fired, the finalists may begin gunning.

The assistants will enter gunning tokens as soon as they become avaliable, LSMing if necessary. Tokens will be loaded "down" instead of "across" (If there are four tokens avaliable, the assistant will input four moves of one shot each instead of two moves of two.), but tokens will be doubled up if five or more are avaliable.

Whichever finalist doesn't sink, wins.

Losers who are aboard the First GF cannot carpent, and will be planked on sight if they pick up a hammer. Please bilge and sail if you like (It'll give us tokens, which makes it easier to get the boats in position.), but do not carpent.