Avenism
| Avenism at a Glance | |
|---|---|
| Hunter Ocean | |
| Last Captain | Avengers |
| Senior Officer(s) | Defeated, Glamourkills, Hellsinger, Rockerman |
| Politics | Autocratic |
| Shares | Jobber's Delight |
| Flag Affiliation | The Horde |
| Founded | 25 October, 2007 |
| Disbanded as of 1 June, 2008 | |
 Crew Info
| |
Avenism was a crew on the Hunter Ocean.
Contents
The History of Avenism
The Beginning
Avenism is a Greekathonic religion founded by Sregneva, a poor peasent, he created the religion in a desperate attempt to restore order and normality to the world of insanity. However, his plans were thwarted by the evil countess Ytivac Greekathon, who sucked him into the void which is Category Three Insanity. During the great tantrum Greekathon of Megatha the wise and knowing, Sregneva was distracted allowing Ytivac to entangle his right leg with her multi-use, pristine condition, rare, collectors edition, kinky, diamond encrusted whip.
The Fall of Sregneva
Sregneva fell silently into the black chasm (mainly to be like Gandalf when he falls down that big hole in the tunnel with that big firey thing). Sregneva's many followers mourned him, but none more than Regnislleh Greekathon, Sregneva's fat-fingered friend, who wept over his sacrifice and praised his stylish uber-sexy Gandalf fall.
The Return of Sregneva
Thousands of years later Sregneva returned to the world we now know as home, looking extremely tired from his thousand year long imprisonment by the Evil countess, Ytivac. He decided to preach his Religion of Avenism Greekathon. This resulted in world wide followers which current numbers exceed 99^999.87402 * 29084 + 5937.6/Pi * 0.
Unfortunately Sregneva had been tainted and was diagnosed, insane.
The Healing of Sregneva (and the baptism of Chuck Norris)
The great Sregneva once got cancer - not unusual for someone who had lived well over a thousand years. Fortunately Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Sregneva no longer has cancer. Do the math. It is obvious that Sregneva has made Chuck Norris cry. Well, it turns out that this is, in fact, factual, however this phenomenon was not by force (as they are longtime Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternity brothers). Instead, it was spurred by one of Sregneva's extremely moving interpretive dances. This one in particular involved peacock feathers, bringing the dance's levels of both beauty and emo-ness to a level of infintesimality, which is the only level of emotion that is capable of releasing Chuck's tears from his diamond-plated ducts. Some of this miracle man-juice of anti-malignance splashed into Sregneva's then exposed bellybutton, instantly and completely curing the cancer within him. Embarrassed with the proceedings, a new and strange feeling for the great Norris, Chuck started hyperventilating and flailing all three of his arms about in a circular motion. After nearly 48 hours of this uncharacteristic behavior, he inadvertently stumbled on a nearby house, leading to him being forced to be baptised by "Namrekcor the Wise Greekathon" to purge the Girly hissyfit he experienced.
Public Statement
This crew is insane. The reader may need psychotherapy, and as such, this crew should be taken as gospel. You can help Avenism by restraining the leader in a rubber room.
Facts (shortened extended public statement)
- Avenism created the Stone cutters from the Simpsons, the Stone masons copied us, Psh, Loosers.
- God is secretly an Avenist.
- Chuck Norris was baptised by the Avenist, "Namrekcor the wise." [Greekathon]
- The OM's are followers of Avenism, secretly. (They will deny it because of fear of tainting their beliefs)
- Avenism cures depression.
Greekathon
Avenism's public statement contains many references to Greekathon, a language created by and for Avengers. It has been added to by Rockerman, Istarion and Avengers since then, and they have created a dictionary for those who don't really get it.
| Greekathon Word | Translation or description | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Proper meanings that need lots of explaining! | |||
| Baptist | Guy with lots of Madness drugs, Baptists inject new recruits who seem too mentally stable with Diputsocillin [see below]. | ||
| Diputsocillin | Derived from other Greekathon words. "Diputs" = "Clinically Insane" and "Cillinillinillinillinillin" = "Drugs administered with a precision hammer to the head". | ||
| Wise | This probably isn't Geekathon, reasearch shows. However in the case of "Namreckor the Wise" it is almost certainly a synonym for "Extremely High-level Diputsness" [see above] or possibly "Completely off his trolley". | ||
| Captain | Highest Preacher and worshipper of the now-ancient religion. Very Diputs [see above] in multiple respects. | ||
| Senior Officer | High Preacher and devout follower of the Captain [see above]. Also extremely Diputs [see above]. | ||
| Fleet Officer | Disciple of the ancient ways of Avenism, and on their way to becoming a High Preacher... Not quite as Diputs [see above] as others but capable of Derailing and Destablizing in some cases. | ||
| Officer | Insane person, but one who is not yet fully able to instil insanity in others. Before being promoted to this rank, pirates must undergo a short training session on methods of derailment and destabiliziation, as well as a course in the proper application of Cillinillinillinillinillin and a short Greekathon vocabulary test. | ||
| Pirate | Slightly sane individual. This rank is reserved for those who occasionally demonstrate slight mental instability, but have not reached the required level of insanity. | ||
| Cabin Person | Reasonably sane person. Pirates are unlikely to progress past this rank unless they can demonstrate to the satisfaction of the entire crew that they are mentally unstable. | ||
| Metalhead | [see "Mosher"] | ||
| Mosher | Really cool. Likely to possess a certain amount of skill with a Ratiug as well as extreme respect from anyone worth their salt. | ||
| Ratiug | If you can't translate a word that simple, you really don't deserve to know what it is. | ||
| Detniat Seikooc | A special type of Cookie (researchers believe it's a cookie anyway) many Avenist preachers use in order to entice new blood into a Baptist's house, where they are forcibly converted. The recipe was discovered by Namreckor the Wise. | ||
| Muipo Seikooc | Also a special type of Cookie, this Cookie is the most Holy of all Holy relics, some would call it "Z0(V)4 7l-l/-\ 15 l-l0l_3Y!!!11!!!!1111Elven.!!!" | ||
| Ome | A person that is often sad, but has really sexy hair. "Sregneva" (Ooooh) himself has sexy ome hair, it's hawt. From the word Ome comes the popular cereal also known as Em-o's. | ||
| Emosewa | A phrase often used in tales of old about the great Sregneva, Emosewa has passed out of common usage, but is still rumored to be uttered by the bard Noiratsi when showering. It derives from the ancient Greekathon "Sewa" (body), with the prefix Emo- (sexy). | ||
| Elpicsid | A devout follower of Avenism. Most crew members can be classified as Elpicsids, but Steelnus may have trouble meeting the required criteria. Seikniknus may also experience difficulty. | ||
| Tenretni | The most powerful tool on earth, it is rumored that The Tenretni was instrumental in the creation of the universe. Using a combination of the power of Atad Refsnart and the miracle that is Gnikrowten, it provides a link between all members of Avenism, with the help of which they can spread the word to the rest of the world. | ||
| Laer Efil | An ancient Greekathon term, derived from Yllaer (very) and Efil (evil), Laer Efil is seldom spoken of, and always feared. For reasons we cannot disclose, we are unable to further discourse upon its meaning, but if you encounter it, be warned that it may be armed, and will certainly be dangerous. Common synonyms include Stnerap and Krow. | ||
| Msineva | A mistranslation. Many people believe Msineva to be an alternative term for avenism, but in fact it derives from the ancient Greekathon "Msi" and "Neva", and is a dire warning to those who use the dreaded Microsoft Installer... | ||
| Literal Words | Added by | ||
| Ytivac | Hawt | Avengers actually. :P | |
| Tantrum | Hissyfit | ||
| Regnislleh | Maple syrup from Canada | ||
| Alice | Various Greekathon words for H.H.H.H.H.H.H.HAWT. | ||
| Rosie | |||
| Dave | |||
| Isabelle | |||
| Steve | |||
| Ygro | Fun | ||
