Art:Microfiction Deathmatch
Microfiction Deathmatch was a forum writing contest run by Bia. A microfiction story (also known as Nanofiction or 55 Fiction) was defined by a few characteristics:
- It has exactly 55 words.
- It may have a title of up to 7 words.
- It must have characters.
- It must have a plot with conflict, climax, and resolution.
Following the form of Poetry Death Match, it used double-elimination rounds. Each round had a top winner. The overall winner received a parrot.
Prize Winners
Emerging victorious after fourteen grueling head-to-head matches, Feylind won first place and received a parrot and fancy ribbon.
The contest also awarded prizes to two runners-up:
- Oneiropoios - Second Place - Spear Head, Writer's Materials, Fancy Ribbon
- Hawkings - Third Place - Stone Tablet, Golden Ticket, Fancy Ribbon
Round Winners
Round 1
Requirements: Story about pirates.[1]
Feylind's How to Catch a Pirate
After defeating the sloop's crew, the pirates swarmed below deck to count their booty. Aghast, they surveyed the hold. No treasure here, just tanks of small fish and barrels full of worms.
"What's all this?" they wondered. Then word came from above that a fleet of navy ships had appeared.
The captain answered grimly, "Bait."
Round 2
Requirements: Include a duty station.[2]
Von_Weber
Two pirates competed to see who could better repair their ship. The captain made artful masterpieces of his holes, whilst the officer did sloppy work but claimed victory nonetheless.
"You've filled the holes," said the officer. "But I've done that and more. I'd like to see a cannon make it through six layers of wood!"
Round 3
Requirements: Bittersweet Success. Be at least vaguely piratey.[3]
Kargach's You Spent Four Hours Doing WHAT?!?
The pillage was long and gruelling. Kargach lost track of time as he navved battle after battle.
Hours later, they put into port with hundreds of thousands of PoE.
And then Kargach remembered the date he'd planned that night with his real-life girlfriend.
'Tis a sad thing to win booty and lose... the other thing.
Round 4
Requirements: A pirate has to use an item for some purpose.[4]
Daynarius' Who needs these newfangled gadgets, anyway?!
The equipment orientation was not going well. Despite repeated attempts by the physical therapist to describe and model proper use, her patient simply couldn't master the necessary coordination. After his third time tripping over a rope and hitting the deck hard, he threw the crutches overboard and yelled, "Arrr, just give me the damn peg!"
Round 5
Requirements: Describe the Setting.[5]
Darkaardvark's A Sign from Above
Jack sauntered slowly down the beach, soft sand warming his feet on a moonless night. A seagull's cry echoed through the salty sea air as waves lapped the shore. Wind rustled the palm trees. Suddenly, Jack's head exploded with pain. He wheeled about, searching for his assailant. There, nestled in the sand, lay a coconut.
Round 6
Requirements: No pirates. Cowboys and/or steampunk.[6]
Daynarius' I, Bovine
"Mac, them scientists what figured out these cattle hybrids sure made life easy."
"Darn tootin', Jim. GPS so's we don't lose 'em. Titanium bones so's they don't break. Electrical current makes every cut tender as a feeelay!"
Suddenly, Jim and Mac noticed the cows were watching. Listening.
"Bessie," they heard one say, "get a rope."
Round 7
Requirements: A pirate's monologue.[7]
Mogget
"Ye killed my father, Commodore - ye ran him through. Ye killed my mother, ye rotten scum, she died of heartache. Ye've killed me, fer no dock can I port at with pirate written across me face. I've sailed high and low, seeking ye. Now die, vermin, yer time has come, and I judge ye lacking."
Round 8
Requirements: No dialogue.[8]
Jollylady's Still Life With Falchion
Milo drew his blade with reckless abandon. Broad stroke followed quick jab; layers of color unfolded everywhere, with scant time to afford mistakes. Finally, he stood back and surveyed the messy scene he'd created. With just moments to spare, he dashed to the inn, placed his painting next to his competitors', and awaited the results.
Round 9
Requirements: A pun and/or an oxymoron.[9]
Feylind's No Hold Bards
The captain of the Catchy Tuna hated music, so the four pirates always met secretly to practice their songs.
One day their band, For the Halibut, was practicing sea shanties in the hold. Suddenly the captain appeared, screaming in fury. "What were you thinking? A band on ship?!?"
Obediently, they all ran for the lifeboats.
Round 10
Requirements: Use a synonym for the words "dead", "man", and "chest".[10]
Hawkings' They Should've had a Sinking Feeling
The treasure seekers clambered aboard the shipwreck and hastened below. In the corner lay the footlocker, nameplate tarnished with age.
Hesitating, one inquired, "Who'd that old ghoul at the inn say owned this again?"
"Some deceased guy named Davy. -- Why?"
Gurgling laughter flooded their ears as the derelict lurched and slowly sank beneath the waves.
Round 11
Requirements: The title, a phrase in the story, and one other word must each be palindromes.[11]
Feylind's We Few
"We're outnumbered! We'll lose the island!" the Governor cried. "No, sir! A war is on. We've enough men to win, if we use them right," reassured the Admiral. "Watch."
He gave the signal. On each attacking ship, a jobber stabbed the captain from behind and stole the deed. Suddenly, every ship belonged to the defenders.
Round 12
Requirements: Future Tense[12]
Oneiropoios' What You're Looking For...
A time will come when the oceans rest; traders will sail freely. On land too, cards will be left strewn on tables; flagons of grog half-empty beside.
A mighty pirate will have risen to lead us. Together, we shall sail through many hardships to the ends of the oceans.
There we will find Adventure Islands.
Round 13
Requirements: Second Person Perspective[13]
Oneiropoios' A Bitter End
A sharp, stabbing pain shoots through your skull and your vision blurs. You gasp desperately for air, water, anything.
The hazy figure of Nefarious Robin cackles at you through your streaming eyes. As you reel backwards, clinging onto consciousness, he knows he's won.
"By Cleaver's beard!" you breathlessly exclaim. "That was some savagely spicy rum..."
Round 14
Requirements: Coin a piratey neologism. The definition must be made clear in the context of the story.[14]
Feylind's Secrets of the Gods
"At last," exclaimed the scholarly pirate, "I've uncovered the secrets of piromancy! I understand how it all works: whisking, zombies, even the OM's ability to create trinkets." Triumphantly, he conjured himself a red monkey and a million PoE. "Nothing can stop me now!"
Behind him, Bia appeared. "Nothing?" she asked, smiting him with her ban-stick.
Round 15
Requirements: Three characters, all dialogue, no attributions. The characters cannot refer to each-other directly.[15]
Feylind's Golden Opportunity
"What happened here, a fire?"
"Nay, pirates attacked the town last night!"
"'Tis true. Everythin' valuable's been stolen, an' the docks were burned!"
"That's terrible. I'm glad I arrived after they left; my ship's cargo is gold ore."
"Gold, is it?"
"That's luck!"
"What...? Stop! Put those swords away..."
"We never said the pirates left."
Bonus Round
Requirements: Choose one Requirement from each of rounds 1-5, 6-10, and 11-15 (three requirements total). Some requirements are mutually exclusive, so you will need to choose three that work.[16]
Round in progress
