User:Poochy

Finally, I have a pirate page, now that I've managed to win a familiar: Poochy

If you wish to contact me, first, let me preemptively respond to some types of things I commonly get:

• I am not seeking a roommate.
• I will not accept hearty invites from random strangers.
• I do not want a girlfriend nor a boyfriend nor to be someone's boyfriend.
• I will not sell the Wrong Ship.
• I am not selling Hikari, my parrot.
  • If you're really persistent, the asking price is 42 quilliard PoE. Non-negotiable.
• I do not wish to switch crews.
• I will not job for an officer who randomly sends me a jobbing invite without asking or being asked first.
• I will judge you based on your spelling and grammar, or at least the amount of effort you show in trying to have good spelling and grammar.
  • I can tell the difference between a non-native speaker trying their best and someone who has a blatant disregard for proper English. The former I'm fine with (English was my second language, too), the latter I'm not.
• If your crew's name is has worse spelling/grammar than what I would expect from an ESL student, then chances are I won't so much as job for you before the day pigs fly.
  • Porky Pig in an airplane cockpit does not count.
• If you have an unoriginal egotistic self-description in your pirate, crew, or flag name, I will assume the opposite is true of you or your crew/flag. For example, if your name is "Hotgirl," I will assume you are a 300-pound fat guy with a butt the size of Marlon Brando in real life. Similarly, if your crew name is "Awesome Sea Battlers," I will assume your battle navigators couldn't aim correctly at water even if they fell out of the boat.
• I will not promote or give +1's to those who ask for it.
• I will not give out my personal or private information. If you're going to ask, here are my responses:
  • I am 3 years old and my birthday is February 30.
  • My last name is .EXE
  • My address is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington D.C., USA. (It's a big white house - you can't miss it.)
  • MY IP address is 127.0.0.1
  • My phone number is 867-5309
    • If you believe any of the above information is for real, I have some beautiful oceanfront property in Switzerland to sell you.
  • If you ask where I live, I will say "in a house."
• I do not play freakin' RuneScape. Yes, I have tried it. I also got bored in no time flat, because it was the dullest excuse of a game I've ever played, and I've seen part-time jobs that would be more fun to work at. Stop yapping to me about it, I am not interested.

Puzzle Pirate Code

A+(++) L Sk++ !D DT- C++ P Cp++ Bl++ Sa++ Gu++ N+++ Sw+++ R++ Al+ BS++ TP SF+ Rm+++ Dr TD++ Sp+ SpR? SpN+ Ht++ Bn+ X+:: B+ Sh+ Pt $+++ $S? Cl-- F++ GD+(++) FA! Wki++ Scr+(++) !Bx

A note on the SpR? in my code: I am not exaggerating. Among the stupid things my Spades partners have done:

• Bid nil with the Ace of Spades
• Bid 13 without the Ace of Spades, thus also forcing me to nil
• After I bid blind nil, I passed my only two face cards. My partner passed one of them BACK, and the other one was a face card of the same suit.