Since Sante is becoming rather prolific, I wanted to put all her work in one place in case I want it again later...

Poetry death match 2005

Registration Round: Clerihew

That great ringer Artemis

Is almost free of artifice

decent show of pretence

Will cost just fifty cents

Round 1: Haiku

Red tide at sunset.

Fish leap cool and golden from

Toxic crimson seas.

Round 2: Limericks

A salt from the Isle of Kent

Lived twenty-six years in a tent

He said "It's not silly:

Although it gets chilly,

Just think what I've saved on the rent."

Round 3: Cinquains

Moonshine,

Crystalline, smooth,

Bubbles away above.

Darkness recedes, clarity lifts:

Spirit.

Round 4: Acrostics

All hail the Queen of waves and tide:

Mistress of seals and octopi,

Poseidon took thee for his bride,

Halosydne, our sea-born queen.

In seaweed green ye rule Descartes,

Thy island home 'neath azure sky.

Residing in the ocean's heart,

Illustrious in rags of green,

Though wide the sea, we hear thee sigh,

Encircling still the deep marine.

Round 5: Terza Rima

Pirate Courting

Green islands, perfect, fringed with golden sands

Sit still, unmoved beneath an endless sun;

Amid their sapphire seas these nightless lands

Are innocent of violence every one.

And yet what jealousy each isle inspires,

How many wars have these sweet shores begun?

Each flag to win more island hearts aspires;

Results depend on finely honed romance -

An invitation is what form requires:

Say, wont you come and meet me in a dance

Of squares? No jig, instead the sea quadrille:

A cannon clap, a pause, then both advance.

Now demonstrate to all your grace and skill,

Anticipate each step and match it well,

For if ye trip there's more than blood to spill.

Through tears, of how her love was lost ye'll tell,

Your moves outclassed upon that wat'ry floor.

But warn your rival, though your banner fell,

That fickle island heart he can't secure:

Beware, for all is fair in love and war.

Round 6: Rondeau

Sod it, lost again at Spades,

As bad as Hearts: each loss parades

My lack of skill. Though not a bragger,

I resent my rival's swagger.

P'r'aps I'll try my luck with blades...

I've practised lots at different grades,

And in some mad crew escapades,

And bought a shiny new skull dagger -

Sod it, lost again.

Time to drink! The rum pervades

Me, leaves me wide to slick charades

From some green upstart carpetbagger.

No stake left so home I stagger.

Left or right? Now drunk tirades:

Sod it, lost again!

Round 7: 3P - Piratey Poetry Parody

Too long to post here right now I think, but here's the link

Plundered Poems, Sonnet Edition

Blood Diamonds

A kraken, bled, sheds livid diamond tears

Condens'ed sun-caught spume, made black within

By cannon-shot, and well-chewed salts. Each fears

His marrow becomes jewels should he not win.

A skeleton counts souls to fray committed,

Recalls his days of flesh. In life he never

Contemplated shadow days. He fitted

Type, sank shooters, brawled in doubloon fever.

Dear crewmates, flagmates, loyal hearties true

Consider not if blood or bones be better,

Find other ends: like steel honed anew,

Shed thy dullness, strive for something greater.

If thou would dust at end of days content,

Make diamonds now of every second spent.

Limericks

What do you want on your tombstone competition

Sante, poet,

Now plays the harp:

Her pen was mighty,

But swords are sharp.

December Doodles (winning) Limerick

On Cobalt I joined Captain Trout -

No greenie's been seen more devout:

"Till death I will serve her",

I swore with true fervour -

But then my free trial ran out.

Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick!

A poetic competition of Fives (non-entry 'cos no inspiration till after deadline. Sigh)

I intended to train for five years

To join all you brave buccaneers

I'd be awesome, and fearsome,

Adventuresome, fusome -

Not flotsam and jetsam, in tears...

I began with five hours blockading

Some island some flag was invading

I sank five times sound;

Lost a limb in each round -

My heads all that's left, it's degrading!

I next spent five minutes distilling,

The "blechs" of the salt were spine-chilling

All the black and the brown

Got sent up and not down

And instead of fine rum I made swilling.

On the docks I stayed only five seconds -

Here a fight, there a trade invite beckons:

I've got more bandanas

Than chimps have bananas

Or Nepal has mandalas, I reckons.

If I had all of five lives, not one,

I'd still never learn how to gun,

My carpenting's rotten,

The bilge best forgotten:

All my dreams (like my rig) are undone.

Regarding officer chat colour

Said some officers all in a stew,

"We won't beg, that's not what pirates do.

We tell it succinct:

Make our chat shades distinct,

Or we'll make ye all black and blue too."

Limerick Wars...

I'm late to this game it is true -

I've been saving my barbs up for Dru.

Although she is faster,

Of wit I'm the master,

And sure to make mayhem ensue.

My name is lulunz

That's my name, that's what the men said.

Or perhaps it's lulunz?

No: I stick to my guns,

And fill my opponents with lead.

Young Matthias, your lines really smell;

And you can't get your rhythm to gel.

More mistaken ye be:

I'm a she not a he,

But perhaps ye don't know how to tell?

Now here's one more rhyme for you hoons,

From the queen of the lim'rick, lulunz.

When your names are forgotten,

(Your poems were rotten),

Her fame will endure many moons.

Dear Fronny, on much we agree,

But ye cannot fault my poetry:

When saying Matthias

I rhyme it with Prius

And put the main stress on the "i".

I take my hat off to Drusilla,

Who rhymes with most consummate skill-a -

But don't smile in haste

For someone's replaced

Yer toothpaste with wet polyfilla.

Yer attacks, ye young blaggard Sharrac,

Fall flat - ye'r a talentless hack.

Here's a way to ensure

You stink less and sting more:

Try waxing yer back, crack and sac!

In light of your friendly derision

I propose a less vulgar revision:

If the tackle ye lack,

Then just wax yer back:

Less vulgar, but lacking incision.

In the future I'll show some decorum

For the delicate ears of this forum,

Though who would guess pirates

Would blush over privates -

With such low blows p'raps we should insure 'em?

Me hearties, and smart Looterati

For a while I must part from this party:

Instead of hard working

I find I've been shirking,

Inventing more lim'rick karate.

Lost Lot Limericks

Before we moved to Sage

The Lost Lot, a crew on Viridian

For their crew colours picked out obsidian

They said "Red, blue and green

Are too commonly seen;

We want something more rare we'll look pretty in."

When Tealbeard was captain

Our captain with beard coloured Teal

Bought a brig that smelled strongly of eel.

He said "it's so rank

That my crew runs the plank

But for only 8 eight doubs it's a steal!"

Various other limericks...

From the Clothing Suggestions thread

There once was a pirate named Cleaver

Who caught a mysterious fever:

In a swoon he approved

High-heeled shoes and tattoos,

Bare chests - and a cloak lined with beaver.

For Helystra

Beware of the fierce Queen Helystra,

She'd slit yer as quick as she'd kiss yer!

Hold yer tongue while swordfighting

Or taste her steel biting

And wince all yer days from sequestra.

For Timberillo

A dock tart once asked Timberillo,

"Care to join in a quick pecadillo?"

But she was dismayed:

His cigar, when displayed,

Was only a limp cigarillo.

Blockade intents

Go With the Flow's Intent to take Admiral Island

Abandon hope all ye pirate throng

Declaration is hereby announced to all who

Might have idly dreamed of Admiral. Now

In readiness for Admiral I,

Read this, and know our intent :

Awar chest will be dropped forthwith

Let foolhardy souls attempt

I n vain to resist, and taste our wrath .

Stand up now any brave

Or foolish soul, who considers themself

Up to this task, this fateful duel.

Rest well, for yell sink on our salvo:

Shodan says Admiral will go with the flow.

User:Lulunz/Sante's Collected Works

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