User:Lulunz/Sante's Collected Works
Since Sante is becoming rather prolific, I wanted to put all her work in one place in case I want it again later...
- 1 Poetry death match 2005
- 2 Plundered Poems, Sonnet Edition
- 3 Limericks
- 3.1 What do you want on your tombstone competition
- 3.2 December Doodles (winning) Limerick
- 3.3 Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick!
- 3.4 Regarding officer chat colour
- 3.5 Limerick Wars...
- 3.6 Lost Lot Limericks
- 3.7 Various other limericks...
- 4 Blockade intents
Poetry death match 2005
Registration Round: Clerihew
- That great ringer Artemis
- Is almost free of artifice
- decent show of pretence
- Will cost just fifty cents
Round 1: Haiku
- Red tide at sunset.
- Fish leap cool and golden from
- Toxic crimson seas.
Round 2: Limericks
- A salt from the Isle of Kent
- Lived twenty-six years in a tent
- He said "It's not silly:
- Although it gets chilly,
- Just think what I've saved on the rent."
Round 3: Cinquains
- Crystalline, smooth,
- Bubbles away above.
- Darkness recedes, clarity lifts:
Round 4: Acrostics
- All hail the Queen of waves and tide:
- Mistress of seals and octopi,
- Poseidon took thee for his bride,
- Halosydne, our sea-born queen.
- In seaweed green ye rule Descartes,
- Thy island home 'neath azure sky.
- Residing in the ocean's heart,
- Illustrious in rags of green,
- Though wide the sea, we hear thee sigh,
- Encircling still the deep marine.
Round 5: Terza Rima
- Green islands, perfect, fringed with golden sands
- Sit still, unmoved beneath an endless sun;
- Amid their sapphire seas these nightless lands
- Are innocent of violence every one.
- And yet what jealousy each isle inspires,
- How many wars have these sweet shores begun?
- Each flag to win more island hearts aspires;
- Results depend on finely honed romance -
- An invitation is what form requires:
- Say, wont you come and meet me in a dance
- Of squares? No jig, instead the sea quadrille:
- A cannon clap, a pause, then both advance.
- Now demonstrate to all your grace and skill,
- Anticipate each step and match it well,
- For if ye trip there's more than blood to spill.
- Through tears, of how her love was lost ye'll tell,
- Your moves outclassed upon that wat'ry floor.
- But warn your rival, though your banner fell,
- That fickle island heart he can't secure:
- Beware, for all is fair in love and war.
Round 6: Rondeau
- Sod it, lost again at Spades,
- As bad as Hearts: each loss parades
- My lack of skill. Though not a bragger,
- I resent my rival's swagger.
- P'r'aps I'll try my luck with blades...
- I've practised lots at different grades,
- And in some mad crew escapades,
- And bought a shiny new skull dagger -
- Sod it, lost again.
- Time to drink! The rum pervades
- Me, leaves me wide to slick charades
- From some green upstart carpetbagger.
- No stake left so home I stagger.
- Left or right? Now drunk tirades:
- Sod it, lost again!
Round 7: 3P - Piratey Poetry Parody
Too long to post here right now I think, but here's the link
Plundered Poems, Sonnet Edition
- A kraken, bled, sheds livid diamond tears
- Condens'ed sun-caught spume, made black within
- By cannon-shot, and well-chewed salts. Each fears
- His marrow becomes jewels should he not win.
- A skeleton counts souls to fray committed,
- Recalls his days of flesh. In life he never
- Contemplated shadow days. He fitted
- Type, sank shooters, brawled in doubloon fever.
- Dear crewmates, flagmates, loyal hearties true
- Consider not if blood or bones be better,
- Find other ends: like steel honed anew,
- Shed thy dullness, strive for something greater.
- If thou would dust at end of days content,
- Make diamonds now of every second spent.
What do you want on your tombstone competition
- Sante, poet,
- Now plays the harp:
- Her pen was mighty,
- But swords are sharp.
December Doodles (winning) Limerick
- On Cobalt I joined Captain Trout -
- No greenie's been seen more devout:
- "Till death I will serve her",
- I swore with true fervour -
- But then my free trial ran out.
Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick Limerick!
A poetic competition of Fives (non-entry 'cos no inspiration till after deadline. Sigh)
- I intended to train for five years
- To join all you brave buccaneers
- I'd be awesome, and fearsome,
- Adventuresome, fusome -
- Not flotsam and jetsam, in tears...
- I began with five hours blockading
- Some island some flag was invading
- I sank five times sound;
- Lost a limb in each round -
- My heads all that's left, it's degrading!
- I next spent five minutes distilling,
- The "blechs" of the salt were spine-chilling
- All the black and the brown
- Got sent up and not down
- And instead of fine rum I made swilling.
- On the docks I stayed only five seconds -
- Here a fight, there a trade invite beckons:
- I've got more bandanas
- Than chimps have bananas
- Or Nepal has mandalas, I reckons.
- If I had all of five lives, not one,
- I'd still never learn how to gun,
- My carpenting's rotten,
- The bilge best forgotten:
- All my dreams (like my rig) are undone.
Regarding officer chat colour
- Said some officers all in a stew,
- "We won't beg, that's not what pirates do.
- We tell it succinct:
- Make our chat shades distinct,
- Or we'll make ye all black and blue too."
- I'm late to this game it is true -
- I've been saving my barbs up for Dru.
- Although she is faster,
- Of wit I'm the master,
- And sure to make mayhem ensue.
- My name is lulunz
- That's my name, that's what the men said.
- Or perhaps it's lulunz?
- No: I stick to my guns,
- And fill my opponents with lead.
- Young Matthias, your lines really smell;
- And you can't get your rhythm to gel.
- More mistaken ye be:
- I'm a she not a he,
- But perhaps ye don't know how to tell?
- Now here's one more rhyme for you hoons,
- From the queen of the lim'rick, lulunz.
- When your names are forgotten,
- (Your poems were rotten),
- Her fame will endure many moons.
- Dear Fronny, on much we agree,
- But ye cannot fault my poetry:
- When saying Matthias
- I rhyme it with Prius
- And put the main stress on the "i".
- I take my hat off to Drusilla,
- Who rhymes with most consummate skill-a -
- But don't smile in haste
- For someone's replaced
- Yer toothpaste with wet polyfilla.
- Yer attacks, ye young blaggard Sharrac,
- Fall flat - ye'r a talentless hack.
- Here's a way to ensure
- You stink less and sting more:
- Try waxing yer back, crack and sac!
- In light of your friendly derision
- I propose a less vulgar revision:
- If the tackle ye lack,
- Then just wax yer back:
- Less vulgar, but lacking incision.
- In the future I'll show some decorum
- For the delicate ears of this forum,
- Though who would guess pirates
- Would blush over privates -
- With such low blows p'raps we should insure 'em?
- Me hearties, and smart Looterati
- For a while I must part from this party:
- Instead of hard working
- I find I've been shirking,
- Inventing more lim'rick karate.
Lost Lot Limericks
Before we moved to Sage
- The Lost Lot, a crew on Viridian
- For their crew colours picked out obsidian
- They said "Red, blue and green
- Are too commonly seen;
- We want something more rare we'll look pretty in."
When Tealbeard was captain
- Our captain with beard coloured Teal
- Bought a brig that smelled strongly of eel.
- He said "it's so rank
- That my crew runs the plank
- But for only 8 eight doubs it's a steal!"
Various other limericks...
From the Clothing Suggestions thread
- There once was a pirate named Cleaver
- Who caught a mysterious fever:
- In a swoon he approved
- High-heeled shoes and tattoos,
- Bare chests - and a cloak lined with beaver.
- Beware of the fierce Queen Helystra,
- She'd slit yer as quick as she'd kiss yer!
- Hold yer tongue while swordfighting
- Or taste her steel biting
- And wince all yer days from sequestra.
- A dock tart once asked Timberillo,
- "Care to join in a quick pecadillo?"
- But she was dismayed:
- His cigar, when displayed,
- Was only a limp cigarillo.
Go With the Flow's Intent to take Admiral Island
- Abandon hope all ye pirate throng
- Declaration is hereby announced to all who
- Might have idly dreamed of Admiral. Now
- In readiness for Admiral I,
- Read this, and know our intent :
- Awar chest will be dropped forthwith
- Let foolhardy souls attempt
- I n vain to resist, and taste our wrath .
- Stand up now any brave
- Or foolish soul, who considers themself
- Up to this task, this fateful duel.
- Rest well, for yell sink on our salvo:
- Shodan says Admiral will go with the flow.