User:Smuttynose

Smuttynose is a fearless, dashing scallywag with a ravenous palette for danger. He laughs in the face of death as he duels with the Reaper and Satan simultaneously. Charon has sworn an oath on his...er...life...never to take Smuttynose across the river Styx for fear that he would beat the...er...living daylights out of him. Smuttynose has climbed Mt. Vesuvius. He has climbed Mt. Everest. He has climbed the mountain of Alcoholism, reveled in his success, and quickly slid back down again. He is a man of legend, an adventurer of extravagant bedtime stories, and all with the refined, girlish figure that all barrel-chested pirates wish they had (Ballys works wonders). He is bold; he is brave; he is unconquerably intelligent, besting any and all in PP Scrabble and Yahtzee. "Mess with the rest, 'cause you can't touch the best," is his motto. Read it, learn it, obey it, and ya just might live another day to thank the gods you didn't come face-to-face with the baddest pirate that ever sailed the 273,005 seas (did I mention he's pirated in space?)