Touched by the FSM

Touched by the FSM is a crew on the Midnight Ocean.

Public Statement
This crew be inspired to help stop global warming, by doing our part pillaging the high seas. The Flying Spagetti Monster will look fondly on us in heaven, where we can one day join him having a drink from the beer volcano.

Being a pastafarian is not necessary to join this crew, but being friendly is. This crew is newbie friendly and we be wanting to welcome and help out new pirates where we can. This does not mean new players can ask officer etc for poe, swords or clothes, but if ye work hard and are dedicated the captain willl be giving ye items when he can.

Shares will be adjusted to suit the siuation, if ye be obeying orders, switching puzzles when needed ye will get extra. If ye disobey or ignore orders, or ye jump ship without reason, or leave in the middle of a battle ye will get less or none. Ship jumpers are automatically captured via Quartermaster.

If ye have some mates ye'd like invited on the pillage, just ask the captain to invite them to job.

We team in 2 and 3's for swordfighting and will use no spacebar if the enemys damage is high. We team all on one in rumble.

Unreliable crew members will be removed, ye are expected to be helping out on crew pillages and not leaving til port, especially not leaving in battle, or lazing about. The captain will quickly remove people who do this, a small reliable crew is prefered over a larger non-reliable crew.

If ye feel ye are a reliable hard working pirate please ask to join the crew we'd be happy to have ye aboard.

Serious note: DONT BEG! Do not ask captain for free poe or to be roomie. Repeat offenders will be booted out of crew and/or muted. Same goes for spamming.

Take a job at Trollsb's apothecary on Papaya! Win whisk potions while working. Whisk yer whisk! Get yer whisk delivered to ye for 185poe. Bulk packs available at discounted prices!

Take a job at Momz's weaving stall on Tinga. No puzzle to do just earn poe!

Crew Behaviour Requirements
Please be friendly to ye jobbers and fellow crew. Officers please recruit anyone ye can. Please ensure you have seen, read and know the officers conduct guide on the forum.

When ye divvy the booty feel free to be generous to those doing good work and cut those who don't follow orders or jump ship.

Crew colours be aqua, purple and white, not required but preferred. The captain be having some spare aqua clothes for any dedicated newcomers.

The crew ship is the Wonderful Flounder. It also doubles as the chart library please see officers board on ship for full library details.

Officers please check the log for what the required restock level is, and any other ship rules set by the owner. Note not all unlocked ships are free to be used by anyone.

All crew members are required to join and read the crew forum and also read all issue updates in game. Crew website is http://touchedbythefsm.armadaaldente.com

Crew activities take precedence. If a crew officer calls a pillage ye must support them. If you are on another pillage excuse yourself once out of battle, if you are at a table finish that match or hand of poker and join the crew pillage. (Exceptions are people doing commod runs for their stalls). You should reply on the /crew channel in either case.

Leaving in battle is not acceptable. Please always wait until after battle, unless an emergency - having lunch is not an emergency. If you have parents who control your computer time explain to them why you must wait until after battle ahead of time, so that you don't get them saying, "I don't care about any silly game battle, get off now." If ye get d/c or your computer crashed log back on asap and explain what happened to officer in charge. Repeat offence if leaving in battle will get ye expelled, officers please report offenders.

Please make sure you always ask PTB (permission to board) before jumping on ships at sea. Some officers may be solo for a reason. Don't be upset if ye get planked for not asking PTB. Repeat offenders may also be demoted and/or expelled.

Promotion Requirements
Cabin Person
 * Requests to join crew.

Pirate
 * Any cabin person who is a subscriber and join crew forum.

Officer
 * Must have NARROW experience in all piracy skills, means practice in duty and battle nav with the navy. (Alts may be an exception at captains discretion)
 * Have good people skills.
 * Have a good working knowledge of the game.
 * Be helpful to greenies.
 * Be online somewhat regularly.
 * Be well disciplined, always follow orders without complaint or argument, never leave in the middle of battle.
 * Be a team player, encourage team mates and never leave swordfight or rumble until it is complete.
 * Have had full training from SO or captain and that person happy with the potential officers conduct.
 * Participate on crew forum and have read pillaging guide.

Fleet Officer
 * Same as officer but must own their own ship, and have shown the captain the deed.
 * Must have shown commitment to officer forum by replying to all current issues and posting relevant issues for at least two weeks. Failing to do check and reply regularly will lead to a demotion back to officer.

Senior Officer
 * Same as both previous ranks.
 * Experienced fleet officer.
 * Mature and well organised.
 * Trusted by the captain to be able to run the crew in her absence.
 * Alternatively may be Captain or SO from crews which merge.

Crew History
Touched by the FSM was founded by Trollsb when she logged on after an 8 month break to discover that her old crew had essentially disappeared and she could not find a friendly enough crew to join.

The name was going to be "Touched by his noodly appendage" but alas it was too long to be a crew name due to game restrictions. The name is due to Trollsb's "religious belief's" as she is a Pastafarian. Pastafarian's are members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a spoof religion spawned from the Intelligent Design debate in Kansas. Being a pirate is highly relevant due to the following statement from Bobby Henderson's original open letter to the Kansas School Board:

"You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature"



It is customary for pastafarians to dress as pirates to help stop global warning. Trollsb figured that Puzzle Pirates was the closest virtual thing to being an actual pirate.

Touched by the FSM joined the flag The Invaders for a while, but left it to join the flag Our Crew as Trollsb was hearties with many of the members. A flag controllers tiff resulted in all the other flag crews and royalty leaving for another flag. Trollsb then made herself queen as no flag issues could be arranged if she didn't. She continued to search for a new good flag to join. In this time the flag Our Crew had war declared upon it by the old flag members who had sorted out their issues and started a new flag Our Crews Flag. This apparently occurred as rumours had been started that Trollsb had stolen the flag and refused to return it, which was not the case. In fact, Trollsb had never been contacted by the old royalty about the situation or ever officially told why they all abandoned the flag. If they had contacted her she would have gladly returned it as she had no intention of being the head of a flag, especially so early in her piratey career.

Touched by the FSM then joined their current flag Midnight Marooners current led by one of her good hearties Seanapenn. Other crews then merged into Touched by the FSM, first Hemp Runners Union (captained by Trollsb's in-game finance Thebilgeking) then later the crew Elemental Masters, (captained by an early crew member Staticdragon) who had previously left the crew) and The Dark Angels (captained by Trollsb's hearty Cptmaddogg).There was a few issues between various SO and some officers left crew including some of troll's good hearties who did not even have the good manners to talk to Trollsb first. There was a then a case of theft by an SO who only held their position via one of the crew merges.

Touched by the FSM then created their own flag after a vote by crew members.

Trollsb then went on hiatus after a whole bunch of real life drama, during which time crew numbers dwindled. A few very loyal members stuck around patiently awaiting Trollsb's return.

Trollsb is now back and working hard to rebuild the crew.